We're like a lot better than the average bears
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
