On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
