i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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