omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
