im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
