His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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