Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize