Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
