I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
someone owes me an orgasm
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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