I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she peed on how many people?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
