Me. At least after what I've been through.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
