No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
