GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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