she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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