This girl is more easily done than said...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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