discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
