If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
