I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
