Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
