Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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