did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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