My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
