I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
