So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
