If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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