Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
