Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
