need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you never un-have a 4some
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
