I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize