Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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