We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
