Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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