i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize