I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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