hotel room ftw
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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