you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
