mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
