Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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