How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
