would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
