did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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