i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
