Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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