ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You have to summon your inner elephant
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
