What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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