I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
