I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
