i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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