OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
