He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
