i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
