Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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