Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
