Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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