So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just google imaged poop.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
