I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
3 2 1 whiskey
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
