Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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