Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
