Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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