my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
