I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize