so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize