it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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