We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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