i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
