We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
