cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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