i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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