Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
