Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Wurthlezg hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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(913): View more from Kansas

The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

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(631): View more from New York

Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america

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(631): View more from New York

Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"

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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(607): View more from New York

Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.

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(760): View more from California

I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME

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(214): View more from Texas

Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!

(972): View more from Texas

THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING

(214): View more from Texas

OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!

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(734): View more from Michigan

I looked into her soul, didn't I?

(517): View more from Michigan

You eye-fucked her soul.

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