Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
