sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
