so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
God, I missed his penis.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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