dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
