Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
